I’ve been so so excited to share this story with you all, I can’t believe it took me so long to write it all down! Hopefully I didn’t forget too many details 🙂
The weeks leading up to his birth were a little ridiculous. I had SO many painful contractions. They would start coming every 5-7 minutes and get really strong! It would get to the point where I thought “ok, this might actually be happening!” and then they would stop!
Our dear friend, Lori, who was planning on watching Sophie and Owen for us, was going out of town the day before my due date, so the closer the date came, the more nervous we were. I was due on November 14, so when I went to bed on the 12th, I was praying something would happen!
I woke up at 11:30 pm to contractions every 10 minutes, but I figured it was the same thing that had been happening for weeks. I tried to go back to bed, but when I realized that wasn’t working, I ate some cereal and settled in on the couch. The contractions were slowly getting stronger and closer together, but I still wasn’t convinced. Then they jumped to about 4-5 minutes apart and I finally knew it was for real! I woke up Jonny, had him call Lori, and I jumped in the shower. {I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t go off to give birth without a shower first.}
While in the shower, the contractions jumped to every 2 minutes, and I couldn’t talk or move during them. I rushed to get ready and Lori arrived just as I was finished. At this point, it was about 3am, so we owe her big time!
We hopped in the car and giggled the whole way – in between super painful contractions. Having babies is kind of exciting 🙂 Jonny was going to drop me off, but I made him park and we walked in together. There were some nurses waiting for us at the door with a wheelchair, and I gladly hopped in for the ride.
They whisked me up to L&D and got me hooked up right away. They usually have you start out in a preliminary room to get checked, and make sure you’re really in labor. But because this was my 3rd baby and the things were progressing fast, they decided to skip that step.
I remember being bugged that they didn’t call my doctor right away. We all knew I was in labor and this baby was coming, but they said they had to monitor me for a bit before they called her in. Ugh. By the time they decided to make the call, I was in SO much pain. With the other 2 births, I really didn’t feel much pain, because I got my epidurals so quickly. Sure, I had some pretty good contractions, but it was all very bearable. This was different. It got to the point where I was so miserable, they decided to give me some medicine to hold me off until I got the epidural. They told me it wouldn’t really get rid of the pain, just take off the edge. They also warned me it would make me feel drunk, which I didn’t exactly care about considering the pain I was in.
Whelp. I’ve never been drunk before, but if that’s what it’s like, I have no idea why people would ever do that to themselves! It was horrible. I was barely aware of what was going on around me, it was all such a haze. I could still feel horrendous pain, so it didn’t seem to do much at all. I was just so frustrated, because everyone was talking and bustling around me, and I felt so disconnected from everything . I tried to talk, but either my lips wouldn’t move, or my speech came out in an unintelligible slur. I have some pretty hilarious videos from it, but I’m not quite sure the internet is ready for that 🙂
The first real thing I remember is the nurse telling me the medicine was wearing off, and to brace myself for delivery. I couldn’t understand what was going on, but a few minutes later the medicine wore off. In the course of about 3 minutes, I went from being totally out of it, to complete aware and back to normal. The pain was UN.REAL.
My doctor walked in and the full reality of what was going on hit me like a truck. I was about to give birth… with no epidural. Enter: panic mode. I told my doc there was no way that was happening, and I’d just wait for the drugs. She laughed and said there was no time for that. So I yelled at her. A lot. I begged, I pleaded, I insisted that there was no way I could do this. But alas… I was ignored.
They said the baby was just about there, I just needed to adjust my position and he’d come. They had me slide off the bed and stand up. And that was that. Cue the screaming, this baby was COMING. I felt a huge urge to push, and the pain was straight up ridiculous. Somehow I made it back on the bed, and that’s when the real fear set in. I mean, it was a full on panic attack. I felt so unprepared, and my body felt like it was being torn in two. The nurse kept telling me to relax and take deep breaths, and it would help lessen the pain. But despite my best efforts, my body was completely tense and I was gasping for air.
After crying and yelling “you don’t understand, I really can’t do this!” about a million times, all I could do was scream. And scream I did. At 6:30 in the morning, I woke up the entire maternity ward. I screamed at the very top of my lungs for a solid 10 minutes, which gave me a sore throat that lasted 2 days. I was so engulfed in pain, I forgot to even push! The whole time I was yelling, my sweet hubby was trying to hold my hand and calm me down (ha!) and the nurse was trying to get me to quiet down. My doctor said “no! Let her scream!” Apparently, my screaming was pushing the baby out at a nice slow pace, which prevented me from tearing too bad. He was face-down, and my doc said if I had actually pushed, he would’ve shot out and torn everything open. Yuck. And ouch.
So after all that screaming, sweet little Lincoln finally made his debut. All in all, it had only been about 15 minutes from when I had come out of the “fog” so I was having a hard time coming to grips with it all. I was completely in shock, and I remember Jonny saying “Alli, Lincoln’s here, FOCUS!” It was so weird. I couldn’t believe what had just happened, and how horrific it was. I feel like I spent the first hour or 2 of Link’s life trying to get my head out of the clouds and down to reality. It was such a strange experience, and I honestly didn’t like it one bit.
I’ve heard so many women say that natural births are so much better, and moments after birth are much more enjoyable. But unfortunately, that darn medicine kind of ruined it for me. If I had time to mentally prepare, and learn how to manage the pain better, I think it would’ve been a totally different experience. But “waking up” right at the end and having a panic attack didn’t make for a very fun time!
THANK HEAVENS, what came from all of this was the most beautiful, sweet, squishy little baby I’ve ever seen.
Link is such a doll, and we all love him to pieces. When the kids came to see him in the hospital, Sophie was immediately enamored with him. After the initial squeals and gasps, she started singing to him. Owen, on the other hand… wasn’t too sure about the whole thing. He mostly kept his distance and stared at him with wide eyes 🙂
Once we brought him home, though, Owen loved him. I think it was easier to handle it all once he was in a familiar place. Now he smothers the poor kid in so many kisses and hugs, and it’s just adorable.
We sure love our little Link-bink! We feel so lucky, and couldn’t be more grateful for the beautiful, loving, and rambunctious little monkeys we’ve been blessed with!
What a beautiful baby! Congratulations to all of you. 🙂
Thank you so much, Brooke!
Way to be real! I’m sorry it was so horribly painful. Oliver’s birth was kind of like that, I was screaming like in the movies. So much pain that I hadn’t prepared for! But what a beautiful baby came from it all! His newborn pictures are so precious. Congratulations!
Haha.. yeah it felt like a scene from a movie! Thanks, Rain!
I totally feel for you. I had an epidural really fast with Jack, but with Oliver, by the time I got there, I was in so much pain. I honestly thought I was going to die, I couldn’t even handle it (though apparently I deal with pain by being completely silent. Ha!) They said I almost didn’t have time for an epidural, and I about started crying and they got the anesthesiologist in there fast. I’m so sorry that those drugs messed you up so much though! I wish they would have offered you laughing gas or something. THanks for sharing your story though – I love birth stories, and I’m so glad he’s here safe and sound. What a handsome baby!
Oh, I wish I was silent while in pain! Haha.. I was so embarrassed afterwards. But I totally felt like I was going to die, too. Birth stories sure are exciting!
Wow. I am so sorry. That sounds really awful. I was traumatized after delivery #3 as well. I have done it with an epidural and without and they both have their pros and cons. But at least I had mentally prepared for it and was wanting to do it. I only had myself to blame, haha. But if you’re not anticipating it, I can only imagine the panic! He is a beautiful boy…congratulations!
Thanks, Tess! It was certainly pretty traumatizing. Maybe I’ll try for a natural birth with the next one.. when I’m prepared for it 🙂
Well I guess it’s obvious that I’m your sister because while I felt horrible for you as I read this I also couldn’t help but laugh a little! Oh man, I really am sorry though. Also, I have never seen those pictures… he is seriously the cutest little baby ever!
Haha of course you laughed! I took them while mom and dad were here 🙂